Just Another Thought

God doesn’t ask of me to do bad things he is asking me to help those in similar situation as me, the ones who have been abused, bullied, harassed for no apparent reason.

You see he must see so many hurting like me and he wouldn’t give me this to do if he didn’t think I could do it, but I am going to give it a shot, and yes it pulls me down (like I fall of my horse so to speak) a lot but as time goes by I get back up on my horse and keep plugging along.

I know in my heart I am a good person and so does god, it is the devil adding the bad thoughts into peoples heads to do his evil ways that hurt good people like me, I have already proven myself that I am a good person with a big heart to help those less fortunate than me, when I say that I don’t say it as in wealth or health etc, I like who I am, I am happy to be this good person I am, sometimes it’s a struggle but I eventually get there.

Misunderstanding of someone’s intentions, actions, words.
Listening to other people, and not communicating.

I am writing this page as this has just happened to me recently, when, I asume people listen to bad feeds and they asume the wrong thing of me, which in turn can cause problems for good people.

I write as it is my way of trying to explain myself to those who don’t know me or for those who do not give me the chance to explain what I meant in my own way.

Well most don’t know me so it doesn’t make any difference I guess.

I am writing this because I seem to be mis understood by what I do and say.

When I write it down, sometimes it also helps others to try and be more aware of others by what I have been through.

You never know, it may have happened to you or it may come up in your lifetime.

This is part of my real life experiences.
You will see what I am referring to as you read on.

I like straight answers and I don’t like people to pussy foot around or sugar coat the facts, that is just another form of telling lies.

Anyhow I sent an email to someone to ask them the following

hi ??????
Can you tell me if I should remove you from my email and Paltalk list?
Seems had blocked me on the site I sent you, go figure that out.

I don’t know if your being rude by not answering me but I would like to know so I don’t waste my time with nasty people anymore.

This was the reply I got back

hi hun what site is that your talking about awwwwww not being rude to you i dont no what your talking about its up to you if you want to take me off but i dont no what your talking about sorry and i am not nasty you do what you want to do call me nasty now i am mad.

I can only asume the person did not read my email properly and after they sent the reply email to me they removed me from there Paltalk list, go figure huh.

Well they took me off their Paltalk list so I left them an offline text message on a different program.

You see I had a feeling that my words were misunderstood and that my reply email maybe was ignored or I wasn’t on their email list, so I left an offline message

I said>>>did you get my reply email

I guess the fact that you took me off your list that is my answer

Funny how you didn’t get my pm and you didn’t get my email.

When I got the first reply I noticed that the person misunderstood me and didn’t read the text properly, however we are from different countries and our words and meanings don’t mean the same thing as I saw in the first and second reply.
well i dont think its funny

I think the person mis understood what I meant by the word >funny<

it looks like you are still on this one
i did get your email

I wasn’t sure if they got the last email I sent where I said I was sorry

was thinking about you and the songs you gave me

the one's you sing

hmmmmmmm

there good songs

song that some one would sing if they like some one

well this comment had blown me away

and I was so shocked but also realised a lot

well i better get off here hey you have a great time hugssssss any way i dont get on this program a lot dont no a lot about it later

This is my reply back to them

hi ???? thank you for replying back to me, when I asked you did you get my email I meant the 2nd one where I said I was sorry etc...Let me show you

Hello ??? You can get mad at me if you want however.....I had emailed you from my ?????? email addy and no reply I then pm you to ask you and again no reply that is why I thought you was being rude and nasty.

but if you really wasn’t being rude and nasty and IF you really didn’t see the email and pm then I am sorry...but I sent them to you and it was like you was reading what I asked you and you didn’t want nothing to do with me...all I was asking is if that was the case I would remove you from my list pretty simple request I thought and the site I was referring to is ????.com...i sent you an invite.

This profile is set to private Sorry, ??? has chosen to completely hide this profile for privacy reasons. Not a lot you can do on this page. :(

I also said

and it seems you have your blocks up, you see I was on the site the other day and I noticed who joined and I saw your name, I clicked on my friends profile and they all said I can send them a message except for you so I asumed you had me blocked, but its ok if that is how you want, it I don’t mind, its just another way of me doing some weeding. Anyways that is why i emailed you Take Care Heart Of Hush

???? all i was going to do was welcome you to the site and say hi..i am sorry if that is a wrong thing to do.

So you see how my words and other peoples words get mistaken so easy.

All I was going to do was welcome them to the site as has been done to me by many others in the past. I guess I was going to be polite and using my manners, not to mention my friendship.
However this persons comment on the songs I sent has I guess made me aware not to ever send songs to anyone ever again, whether it be male or female, it can be taken the wrong way with the wrong intentions.

I am truly sorry to everyone I sent my songs too, I never meant to send the songs for you or others to think bad of me or with wrong intentions.

I wont ever send songs again.

You know I could also think that of them too in the similar way with the songs they gave me but I didn’t and the fact I was supposedly the only person to be spoken to (whispered to ) by this person.

You see I just went on doing what I was doing and I was happy that this person communicated with me and not for any other reason but the fact we were talking and being friends so I thought, gee was I wrong.

Then I got to thinking about the comment I was so embarrassed and I felt I needed to explain some.
was thinking about you and the songs you gave me

the one's you sing

there good songs

song that some one would sing if they like some one

Well now I am thinking this person must have tickets on themselves

I don’t know if they will even know what that means but oh well

I said

wrong ????? they are songs I know

I had a fiancée on Paltalk and the songs mean a lot to me for my reasons and I don’t mean them for anyone else to get the idea I am keen on them

I can’t sing the songs like I use too

I am sorry you take my words wrong

I guess that is why you removed me from your pal list

If you had unblocked me in your emails I could explain to you but I guess you believe others

Your choice I guess

Take care

Now I want to say, Just for the record, I would never ever get involved in a relationship with anyone on any chat program ever again, actually ever again in this lifetime.

There not worth the hurt and pain I went through but not only that my heart is taken/closed off.
I choose to be friends only if you don’t like it well too bad.

So there you go just another day in my life of people not talking, not listening, misunderstanding my intentions or and my actions/my words.

I have learnt something from this experience though and I guess if they didn’t say this to me I would never have known not to ever send my songs again or any songs again.

So I thank them for making me aware of my mistakes in sending my songs or any songs to others.
I do hope they don’t go outside though as I think the tickets will fly off.

Anyways take care all.

Don't Close Your Blinds

The following text came from an email that was sent to me a long time ago, way back on Wednesday the 30th November 2005 by a friend that doesn’t even realise that some of the things he either has said to me or sent to me have really stuck with me.

This is just one of the many things he sent to me.
God does work in special ways and on many occasions through our friends and associates.

You just have to be aware and listening, oh and not to mention to be open to what you hear.

Well when I read this email, it really did stick hard with me and I too don’t close the blinds, I too take a stand for what is right, no matter how much it hurts me or makes me sick.

My past tells me that this is what I am like; I guess I could be from old school, but it’s all good.

I have been searching for this email ever since I got it, heavens I even asked the people I sent it too.

It has taken me this long to find it and there is a reason I have it now.

I am going to get it on the net as much as I can.

Please be open, please listen and be aware.

Happy Reading

Sent to me on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 3:22 AM

DON'T CLOSE YOUR BLINDS

This one really makes you stop and think -

(and I hope it ends up in those countries that think the War in Iraq is unjust ~ PapaVamp)

Letter to the Editor- Odessa American- Odessa, TX

The other day, my nine year old son wanted to know why we were at war...My husband looked at our son and then looked at me.

My husband and I were in the Army during the Gulf War and we would be honored to serve and defend our Country again today.

I knew that my husband would give him a good explanation.

My husband thought for a few minutes and then told my son to go stand in our front living room window.

He said "Son, stand there and tell me what you see?"

"I see trees and cars and our neighbor's houses." he replied.

"OK, now I want you to pretend that our house and our yard is the United

States of America and you are President Bush."

Our son giggled and said "OK."

"Now son, I want you to look out the window and pretend that every house and yard on this block is a different country" my husband said.

"OK Dad, I'm pretending."

"Now I want you to stand there and look out the window and pretend you see Saddam come out of his house with his wife, he has her by the hair and is hitting her.

You see her bleeding and crying. He hits her in the face, he throws her on the ground, then he starts to kick her to death.

Their children run out and are afraid to stop him, they are screaming and crying, they are watching this but do nothing because they are kids and they are afraid of their father.

You see all of this, son....what do you do?"

"Dad?"

"What do you do son?"

"I'd call the police, Dad."

"OK. Pretend that the police are the United Nations. They take your call.

They listen to what you know and saw but they refuse to help.

What do you do then son?"

"Dad.......... but the police are supposed to help!"

My son starts to whine.

"They don't want to son, because they say that it is not their place or your place to get involved and that you should stay out of it," my husband says.

"But Dad...he killed her!!" my son exclaims.

"I know he did...but the police tell you to stay out of it.

Now I want you to look out that window and pretend you see our neighbor who you're

pretending is Saddam turn around and do the same thing to his children."

"Daddy...he kills them?"

"Yes son, he does. What do you do?"

"Well, if the police don't want to help, I will go and ask my next door neighbor to help me stop him." our son says.

"Son, our next door neighbor sees what is happening and refuses to get involved as well. He refuses to open the door and help you stop him," my husband says.

"But Dad, I NEED help!!! I can't stop him by myself!!"

"WHAT DO YOU DO SON?" Our son starts to cry.

"OK, no one wants to help you, the man across the street saw you ask for help and saw that no one would help you stop him.

He stands taller and puffs out his chest. Guess what he does next son?"

"What Daddy?"

"He walks across the street to the old ladies house and breaks down her door and drags her out, steals all her stuff and sets her house on fire and then...he kills her. He turns around and sees you standing in the window and laughs at you. WHAT DO YOU DO?"

"Daddy..."

"WHAT DO YOU DO?" Our son is crying and he looks down and he whispers,

"I'd close the blinds, Daddy."

My husband looks at our son with tears in his eyes and asks him. "Why?"

"Because Daddy.....the police are supposed to help people who needs them...and they won't help.... You always say that neighbors are supposed to HELP neighbors, but they won't help either...they won't help me stop him...I'm afraid....I can't do it by myself Daddy.....I can't look out my window and just watch him do all these terrible things and...and.....do nothing...so....I'm just going to close the blinds.... so I can't see what he's doing........and I'm going to pretend that it is not happening."

I start to cry. My husband looks at our nine year old son standing in the window, looking pitiful and ashamed at his answers to my husband's questions and he says...

"Son"

"Yes, Daddy."

"Open the blinds because that man.... he's at your front door... "WHAT DO YOU DO?"

My son looks at his father, anger and defiance in his eyes.

He balls up his tiny fists and looks his father square in the eyes, without hesitation he says:

"I DEFEND MY FAMILY DAD!! I'M NOT GONNA LET HIM HURT MOMMY OR MY SISTER, DAD!!! I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM, DAD, I'M GONNA FIGHT HIM!!!!!"

I see a tear roll down my husband's cheek and he grabs our son to his chest and hugs him tight, and says... "It's too late to fight him, he's too strong and he's already at YOUR front door son.....you should have stopped him BEFORE he killed his wife, and his children and the old lady across the way.

You have to do what's right, even if you have to do it alone, before its too late." my husband whispers.

THAT scenario I just gave you is WHY we are at war with Iraq.

When good men stand by and let evil happen son, THAT is the greatest atrocities in the world won't affect him. "YOU MUST NEVER BE AFRAID TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT! EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO DO IT ALONE!" BE PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! BE PROUD OF OUR TROOPS!! SUPPORT THEM!!! SUPPORT AMERICA SO THAT IN THE FUTURE OUR CHILDREN WILL NEVER HAVE TO CLOSE THEIR BLINDS..."

This should be printed in every newspaper and posted in every school in America. Of course that won't happen so we'll use the internet. If your blinds are closed do nothing with this email. If they are open I do not need to tell you what to do.

GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!

Steven R Chandler, CMSgt

332 ELRS/Vehicle Management

Flight Balad Air Base, Iraq

So you see as a proud Australian, also a very proud person, I too will do what is right for me and many others that cross my paths.

Hence some of the reasons for my writings Good Feeds and BAD FEEDS.

Oh by the way the following text came from the same person, Papa Vamp

I have added some words that we know and or associate with in today’s society.

Maybe this will help others as it helps me in my every day life.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. BAD FEED
It is Anger, Envy, Jealousy, Sorrow, Regret, Greed<<, Arrogance, Self-Pity, Guilt, BRAG/BOAST, Resentment, Inferiority, Lies, Thieves, False Pride, Dishonorable<<,Disloyalty<<,Superiority, Addictions, Bullies, All Forms of Abuse and Ego.

The other is Good. GOOD FEED
It is Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Loyalty ,Respect, Compassion, Acts Of Kindness, Pay It Forward, Good Deeds, Honorable and Faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

The thoughts you think and act on.

Salvation Army

Salvation Army
I am writing this page as I had noticed the entry on a message board and was asked for an opinion, however I am going to tell you of my recent experience with the Salvation Army.
You see my son had been in a bad car accident, 24th February 2006 and with all of his injuries and many operations in the end he needed a new bed, well 2nd hand anyways as that is all I can do for now, from the injuries his back was hurting him and his old bed was sagging and no good at all.
So I thought, well my mum use to ask the charities for assistance and I have never asked and my son needed some help, so I rang up to find out about getting some help with a bed and they told me to be at the centre at 9-30am and the first 12 people is who they see.
So I got the 9-30am bus and I went to the local salvation army assistance centre on Wednesday the 7th November 2007 and I had no idea of the set up or how they do things etc.

Well I went to the centre and it seemed that the first 12 people had already went through so I went to leave to go home, then the lady at the desk spoke to me and I asked what I was there for, then as I was trying to tell the desk lady why I was there and what I was needing and the actual assistance lady came out, at the same time and heard of my story and how I was stumbling/stuttering with my words due to being nervous and because of the many illnesses I have and not knowing or understanding their system of doing things.

So eventually the boss lady/assistance lady, well she booked me in for the following week, and only because I make sure someone is home with my son as he is on crutches and is unable to do things if there was an emergency.
The ladies told me what paper work and documents I may need to show them for the following week.

Well anyways I went the following week, and this time I got the 9am bus as the ladies advised me to do, I saw about 4-5 people there before me, however it didn’t matter as I had the appointment and I was first in so the ladies informed me last week.
I stood under the shade of a eucalyptus tree as with my medical conditions and the heat I could end up sick myself and then I would have no one to care for my son if I got sick.
I was actually feeling sick from my medical issues, I almost fainted and held the fence to prevent me from falling, I took some deep breathes to try and feel better.
I was thinking I hope this place opens soon.
The people there didn’t ask me I if was waiting in the first 12 people or not, as they was counting heads for the first 12.
While I was standing under the shaded tree, I was gathering my thoughts as who turned up and in what order just in case anyone was to say something to me.
Well we all went into the centre as they opened the doors and to many of their surprise, none of them got the number one tag, that must be how they do it, because I got this tag that had the number one on it.

Now I sat in the waiting room and waited to be called then all of sudden one of my illnesses kicked in, I was sick as, and the tears rolled down, I looked through my bag for a tissue to dry my tears and to try and pull myself together as best I could.
Then the assistance lady called me in and she asked me what I wanted.
First of all the lady took down my sons income details and asked me about mine, and also asked me about the expenses I had to pay out each fortnight.
I guess they do that to see if you really do need help.

But before I left my house to go to the assistance centre I wrote myself a list because of my medicals I didn’t want to forget things, now the list compromised of meat for the nights dinner, to get down at the shops as I had a couple dollars left until I would get paid the next day.
My son a mattress and some clothes for us.
I told the lady is best I give you the list as I wrote it down just in case I forgot.
And I was stumbling again with my words from my medicals. And the tears started falling again.
The lady gave me some tissues to dry my tears.

I also told her what I was needing that was most important for me, I said a mattress for my son, I told her why and I gave her his injuries documentation as people would never believe me if I just told them, she was lost for words and said what most people say, he is so lucky to be alive and I said, yes he sure is.
So she proceeded to ring 2 shops to find out if they had the mattress for me and as luck would have it, one of the shops did have one for my son. I said thank you god for helping.

Then the lady asked me about the other items on the list, I told her because of the accident with my son he has gained weight and needs a few clothes, and me because of the tumor in my stomach I needed some loose fitting shirts.
The lady wrote me out a voucher to get some clothes, she did say that only one thing could be done on any one day and I was getting 2, the mattress and the clothes.
Then she asked me about me writing meat on my list, I said yes I had a couple of dollars in my purse to buy meat for the night’s dinner, she asked me if I wanted a gift card voucher, I said no its ok, however she then gave me a $20-00 Coles gift voucher to get some other items I needed.
After she had written out the vouchers etc I was directed out a different door to catch the bus and go home.

I went home as I was feeling really sick and I needed to take some meds to help me do what I needed to do that day. I told my son I have a mattress for him and I was going to pick one out for him, I took measurements of the mattress he had on his bed.
Then I also made myself a cup of tea and then went to look at a mattress for son.
When I got to the store, the mattress didn’t look the right size so I asked the young man to measure it for me and I was right it was king single, it was too big for my sons bed, so I asked about getting a normal single bed base and mattress instead for the same price, he said he couldn’t do that, but if I paid the difference I can, so in the end after me ringing my son and asking him about our options I decided to get him a pine slat single bed base and a single bed mattress. I had to pay an extra $25-00 for the pine bed and I had to pay a $30-00 delivery fee.
All the extras had to wait until we got paid within the next few days etc, then I got it organized and delivered on Thursday 22nd November 2007.
Then I went to the shop for the clothes and I wasn’t feeling good at all, so I asked how the vouchers work and did I have to spend it all at once, the lady told me yes I need to use it on the one visit and I asked for the shops opening hours so I can plan my visit.
Then I went to Coles to get my meat and I went home and I needed to rest for the afternoon.
I was sick as, but I had tears again, I guess the whole day was a lot for me.
While I was resting from the day I had these visions, inspirations like I always get, and that was to find whatever I had in my home to give to them for their kindness in helping me and my son.
Maybe by my donations they can recoup the monies they donated to me as I surely did appreciate their help.

And then because the lady assistant was very understanding and just the fact she helped me,
I designed one of my Memory Keepsake Frames to give to her from me.

So in the end to reply to a message board question of
What do you think of shops such as St Vinnies and Salvation Army
There is my answer above; their help took a lot of pressure off me and not to mention stress.
Just as a point of interest there are people who get paid to do the work they do in the charities and there are people who don’t get paid, who volunteer their services and or works for the dole.
Years ago there were only volunteers from what I knew of, now the managers and other staff do actually get paid to work in the stores.

Insurance companies are not the best people to deal with and especially when you don’t know their way or their job and they can make it all so difficult for you.
Sometimes I get so ornery at them because I see logic where they don’t.
The simple things in life I guess.
They don’t even think for themselves, that my son was the passenger and was knocked out when the accident occurred.
It wasn’t even his fault and it seems they are the ones punishing him.
I guess that’s when the mother instinct kicks in, like protecting and trying to help him.
Anyways I have typed a lot for the morning.
If I missed any words, please forgive me.
I need a break and I am feeling kinda sick again.

Take care all…Have a wonderful day/night wherever you may be.
Heart Of Hush

Oh By The way

I am aware that the bad feeds may read this and then find the need to trash me out as they have done in the past.
http://badfeeds.blog.com/2290777/

I guess it just proves what I been saying all along, they are bad feeds. Their actions speak loud and clear.




This was given to me a while ago.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. BAD FEED
It is Anger, Envy, Jealousy,Sorrow, Regret, Greed<<, Arrogance, Self-Pity, Guilt,BRAG/BOAST, Resentment, Inferiority, Lies, Thieves,False Pride, Dishonorable<<,Disloyalty<<,Superiority, Addictions, Bullies, All Forms of Abuse and Ego.

The other is Good. GOOD FEED
It is Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Loyalty ,Respect,Compassion,Acts Of Kindness, Pay It Forward, Good Deeds, Honorable and Faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

The thoughts you think and act on.

Happy Reading

What have I been up to lately?

What have I been up to lately?

Well let’s see, I have been giving seeds away, let me explain.
You see I have been growing some flowers for some years now but I never knew what they were called. Well I do now, as I asked around to find out, you see I took some pictures of the flowers I have in my garden and some really nice people told me what they were.
They are called 4 o’clock flowers.and or Mirabilis Jalapa.

Well I was happy to now know what these flowers were, so I went searching the internet to find out more about these f lowers that I have growing in my garden.
There growing requirements etc.
Well what did I find in my search, let me show you
Please take a look at the enclosed link
http://www.symbolofhope.com/English_Story_Tribute.htm
Well my wonderful flowers that I have been growing for years just so happens to be the symbol of hope for cancer patients.
I was so happy to know that I have been growing these for many years now and I understood as to why I liked them so much.
If you want any of these flowers you can get the seeds from this link if your USA overseas based
http://www.symbolofhope.com/English_Free_Fouroclock_Seeds.htm

For Australian purchase you can buy them from this link
http://www.oztion.com.au/vshops/item.aspx?itemid=2574807
or google the flower name and you will find other ways of getting the seeds.

Well anyways I had been posting for free these seeds out that I had to many people as they too liked the flowers as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In between doing that I had a mini stroke aka TIA and body shutdown from the menieres disease cause by certain triggers that was inflicted on me by the bans list.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been, I think, helping eagleswindcry to get his troops show up and running again, he (eagleswindcry) got his station working now, I think he got it going yesterday being around the 10th November 2007.

I was re doing his Daytona Radio station website, and then he needed the listen player to be added to his station webpage’s so that people can listen to his station when they visited his website, so I asked a friend bob radio station if he could help eagleswindcry and bob said yes and made the player for eagleswindcry station website.

In doing that for eagleswindcry, eagleswindcry was so appreciative and thankful of bob radio station helping him, eagleswindcry offered to bob radio station to also broadcast the troop’s concert, which is now being advertised on the corresponding web pages.

I wont be doing anything to do with the troops show/concert this year as I don’t want the troops show to be boycotted by the bad feeds and their friends like what they did to the pay it forward room that I had put together.
So now everyone can listen to Daytona Radio Station from the following links.

http://daytonaradio.topcities.com/index.html
http://daytonaradio.topcities.com/enter.html
http://daytonaradio.topcities.com/Listen-To-Country.html
http://daytonaradio.topcities.com/Southern-Rock-Blues.html
http://daytonaradio.topcities.com/Live-Concerts-PaltalkRooms.html
http://daytonaradio.topcities.com/Support-The-Troops.html
http://daytonaradio.topcities.com/2007-concert-details.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I was talking to Bob Radio Station,
he told me about a new site he was running, please see enclosed link
http://www.bobmediaservices.co.uk/

Quoted from his website
Running your own radio station could never be easier. We have created several different types of packages available for you to choose from. These range from the beginners to the more advanced DJ's. As you’re broadcasting demand increases you can upgrade at any time. All of our servers have an up time of 98%
Check out the pricing webpage link below, be aware the prices are Per Month
http://www.bobmediaservices.co.uk/Shoutcast%20Pricing.htm

Currency Converter
http://www.xe.com/ucc/

So if you want your own radio station,
Why not contact bob and see if he can help you have your own station.

Take care everyone and god bless
Heart Of Hush